Our Cocoa Beach Getaway!

I am so ridiculously far behind with this whole blog thing! I'm so sorry! We've been on the go so much these past few weeks, it's probably going to take a few posts to catch up!

When I started working with my hubby in the beginning of the year, I quickly realized that with both of us working for an AC company in Florida, our kids' summer could easily be overwhelmed by our work schedules, leaving them stuck staring at a TV screen with no real family time. (Yes I DO think about that stuff in January...I'm a weirdo like that.) Well, I decided then and there that I would NOT let that happen. So I told Aaron that I didn't care how we did it, but we were going to pick a weekend, forget about work, and go away to the beach as a family. Like a good hubby, he didn't tell me I was insane for thinking of this stuff in the middle of winter, he just gave me an "OK," which is as close as Aaron ever gets to "Yes dear."

The months passed and I remembered a resort in Cocoa Beach I had visited with a friend a few years back that was super fun and kid-friendly. We decided to book a room there for weekend of Aaron's birthday, and invited our friends Kim and Perry, Jen and Bill, and Kaitlyn and Joel, along with their respective little people to join us. We had such an amazing weekend!

Aaron had an almost full day of work planned for that Friday, so I packed everything we needed for the weekend in the car, packed a backpack with swim suits and a change of clothes for myself and the boys, and hitched a ride with our awesome friends so we could start the party a little earlier! The people at the resort were great, they got us checked in much earlier than we anticipated, and the boys were super psyched to see our room where they had their own little area, complete with their own TV and bunk beds! We ate a quick lunch and it everyone was off to the water play area! This ended up being everyone's favorite place to hang out, with shallow enough water that we didn't worry about the kids as they ran around and climbed the pirate ships and slid down the little slides. We got to lay in the sun (or sit at the table in the shade) and just let the kids go nuts. It was great! They played their little hearts out!

Aaron finished his work and got to the hotel just as were were about done with the pool. We all got changed for dinner and met Kaitlyn down at the beach where she was doing some family photos. She generously offered to do some for us too, and the results were BEAUTIFUL! Poor Nate was so overtired from all the fun in the sun, he wanted NOTHING to do with pictures of any kind! But Kaitlyn managed to find a way to capture the moment so beautifully! Please check out more of her work by clicking here.

Beautiful moment, even if Nate is a bit grumpy =)

This may be my new favorite family pic! 

The elusive Nathan smile!

My Silly Dilly

After the photo shoot, we went to a local BBQ place for dinner. I'm sure they cringed at the sight of our party of 15, which of course included our gaggle of six overtired but over excited kids! But they wisely put us in a back area of the restaurant where we couldn't do too much damage! =) We enjoyed our meal, poked around Ron Jon Surf Shop for a little bit, and headed back to the hotel to rest.

Somewhere around 5am, Aaron and I woke up to Dillon in our bed, saying he had a headache. That is usually a sign of a fever in my big man, and sure enough he felt pretty warm. With a sinking heart, I realized this was probably the end of our mini vacation. But since it was too early to get Nate up and pack, we gave Dill Bug some ibuprofen and some water and tucked him back in to rest a while. Amazingly, a few hours later when we all woke up again, Dilly was fine! Bright eyed, happy, excited, and ready to hit the beach! Aaron went out and bought a thermometer, and sure enough, there was not even an inkling of a fever! Woohoo!

We ate a quick breakfast in our room and it was off to the beach! We spent the morning having some beautiful family moments full of sun, surf, and sandcastles! Even Nathan, who used to be terrified of the beach, was loving it! The rest of our group soon joined us and all the kids had a blast.

After a couple hours, the kids were itching to get back to the pirate ship pool, so we packed it up. I brought Nate back to the room for a much needed nap, and Dill went with his buds to the pool.  We all met up again for dinner at the resort restaurant overlooking the beach. By the end of dinner, I saw that glazed, "I don't feel good" look on Dills face again. I brought him back to the room and took his temp, and he had a low fever again! I gave him some more meds, and let him lay down and watch TV and rest. Frustrated and confused, I turned to my old pal the internet for answers. Turns out my man had a bit of heat exhaustion from running around so much in the heat and not having enough to drink! I never knew that heat exhaustion could manifest in a fever, but as I thought back over the last two days of crazy fun in the sun, it all made sense. After sitting in the AC for a little bit and drinking a couple bottles of water, Dill was raring to go again, fever long gone!

While I was in our room with sicky Dilly, Aaron and Nate got to spend some real quality time on the beach as the sun went down. They played in the sand, ran in and out of the surf, got completely soaked, and made some really great memories. Nate later told me playing on the beach with Daddy was his favorite part of the whole trip, and Aaron quietly confessed it was one of his most favorite memories too. He tried to get pictures of Nate, but the little bug was having too much fun to be bothered to stop for a photo op!

After Dill felt better and Nate and Aaron were dry, we met our friends down by the fire pits and made s'mores and talked. The kids ate and ran around like lunatics, and the adults marveled at their never ending energy! It was a beautiful, clear night with a nice breeze, and I felt so blessed to have been able to make my dream of a mini family getaway a reality.

The next morning, since it was Aaron's birthday, we went out in search of an IHOP for breakfast as he requested. We found one...with a wait of over an hour for a table...so the birthday boy decided on Waffle House instead! =)

We enjoyed our incredibly large and delicious breakfast, and headed back to the pool for a little bit more fun. By this point all of the adults hid under the umbrellas, avoiding the sun like a bunch of vampires and doing our best not to doze off. Who knew relaxing could be so exhausting?

A little while later we decided to say our goodbyes and head home from our little beach getaway. As we drove, I was so grateful for the opportunity to get some real time together as a family. I know the rest of the summer may pass by in a blur, heck it has already started to! In the next month we have two weeks of VBS (one of which I'm volunteering in), two birthday parties to plan and a bunch more to attend! All the while we are working through our busiest season! But I am so blessed to have been able to take that little weekend and disconnect from all of that and be together, because isn't that really all that matters?

Little snoozer

Big snoozer

Crazy Amazing Car Cleaning Discovery!

This week we have been on a self imposed quarantine because my poor hubby had the flu. Today he was doing much better, but we stayed home just in case he was still contagious. The last thing I want to do is be responsible for a church wide flu epidemic!

Since Aaron was doing better today and my Dr. Wifey skills were not really needed anymore, I decided to tackle a project that had been ignored for WAY TOO LONG....detailing my car. I spend so much time in the car with the kids that it becomes a moving trash can in almost no time at all. Now and again we would empty out the garbage and vacuum the carpets...but if you moved those car seats...the level of nastiness under there is truly the stuff of nightmares. Melted candy, fossilized chicken nuggets, and substances that have simply baked or fermented for too long to be recognizable anymore! Normally I would just vacuum out what I can and sigh at the residual stains, resigned to the fact that my car interior was slowly being destroyed because I was too cheap to pay $200 to have the upholstery professionally cleaned. But the other day I came upon a link on Facebook that promised to solve my upholstery woes. Here is the link to the original article I found.

The culprits...

Man, they are lucky they are so cute!

 I was skeptical that anything could cut through the mess left behind by my little monsters, but I gathered the ingredients, mixed up this supposedly magical concoction and headed outside to test it out. I removed the first layer of ick with Aaron's trusty shop vac and surveyed the damage...

Next I soaked the seats with my homemade cleaner. I left it to sit for about ten minutes before I returned and scrubbed the seats with a scrub brush. As I scrubbed, the confidence I had mustered up for this miracle cleaner began to wane...I could still see the stains! But I kept at it...scrubbed the seats, rinsed them, and waited for it to dry...and I couldn't believe it!

The stains were practically gone! The seats looked almost new again! I was seriously shocked! It totally changed my life! Well...maybe that's a tad melodramatic...but it certainly made my day! =)

The only drawback to this method of cleaning is the strong smell of vinegar that is left behind...and I HATE the smell of vinegar. (Seriously, salt & vinegar chips are outlawed in my house!) But even as the day wore on it started to dissipate, so I'm sure it will be gone soon enough. I know it might seem weird for me to be reviewing someone else's formula, but I am usually the person who looks at those types of articles and says "Yeah right, that totally doesn't work in real life." But this TOTALLY DOES! So go do it and have a life changing (but slightly stinky) car cleaning experience! =)

Family Update 05.19.2015

Time is FLYING by as we get closer and closer to the end of the school year for Dillon. I for one will be happy when it is over...I am so over the homework, alarm clocks, deadlines, homework, projects, car lines,  uniforms...and did I mention homework??? Of course I will inevitably be wishing school could start up again somewhere around  July 20th when mid-summer boredom sets in. But at this moment the freedom of summer is so close I can almost taste it!!! I guess I never lost that "can't wait for summer" feeling from when I was a kid. =)

This past week was not incredibly busy for us, which was a welcome change! The most eventful day was Friday when Dill and I brought Nate to Grandma's house and set off with his entire class to check out the new Orlando Sea Life Aquarium. This was the last field trip of the year for my Dill Bug, and since the aquarium just opened a few weeks ago I was pretty excited to get to be a chaperone!

At Dillon's insistence, we rode the school bus to the aquarium with most of the class instead of meeting them like some parents did. As the bus rolled out and the traditional top of your lungs singing began, I was beginning to regret my decision. But then my sweet little Dill ignored his classmates, snuggled up to me and said "I'm so glad I get to spend time with you today." My heart melted, and I choked back tears as I embraced my big boy. His loving heart and sweet spirit continually blow me away. Suddenly "The Wheels on the Bus" screamed out by second grade boys was not irritating at all.

We arrived at the Orlando Sea Life Aquarium, which is part of the new complex that also houses the new wax museum and the Orlando Eye. I chuckled to myself when we saw the news crews out front reporting that the newly opened Eye was once again closed for repairs. With all the reports I have heard of it being closed for repairs in its short time open...I can tell you it will be a long time before this girl braves the giant ferris wheel!

As we entered the aquarium, we learned that our group of twenty five second graders and about eighteen parent and teacher chaperones was the largest group they had yet accommodated. Very quickly we realized that this facility was not prepared to handle us. From the "deer in headlights" looks we got from the (very pleasant) employees, to the clear lack of logistical planning, it was clear that the aquarium did not plan to encounter many field trip groups, choosing to instead focus on the tourism market.

The aquarium itself was beautiful, very artistically put together with many interactive touch screens for visitors to learn more about various species of sea life. The also had a huge tidepool area where the kids could touch sea stars, anemones and other cool creatures.

The issue we faced is that it did not feel like the facility was equipped to handle large groups. The interactive screens looked like they were supposed to have accompanying audio (the cartoon shark's mouth was moving) but either it wasn't functioning or it wasn't turned up loud enough to be heard over the crowd. In addition, the whole aquarium is considered a "self led tour", which meant that the adults spent the entire time simply trying to keep track of everyone, and there wasn't much time to focus on actually learning about what we were looking at.

That being said, we really enjoyed getting to see the different animals and beautiful exhibits. Dillon LOVED the tidepool area, and he said that touching the anemone was his second favorite part of the trip! Lunch was number one...yep...that's my boy!

After lunch (which we ate sitting outside the entrance on the concrete because they had no where else to put us) we went back in to visit the playground. That didn't end so well for us, since two of the kids in the class were too tall to play on the equipment and told they had to sit out! In an effort to give all the children a chance to be included in playtime, Dillon's sweet teacher decided we would cut our trip short and they would do a special activity in the classroom. My overall opinion of the aquarium is that it would have been very nice if we had gone as a family of four instead of a group of almost forty. As I said, it felt like the designers of the facility were too focused on the tourism aspect and not enough on local Floridian school groups.

The field trip may not have been as mind blowing as everyone had hoped, but as we rode back to school on the incredibly loud bus, I looked at my Dill (who again was snuggled up to me) and wished I could freeze that moment in time and keep it forever. Soon enough, my sweet Dill Bug won't want much to do with his lame mother. The days are coming soon when instead of a smile and a snuggle I will most likely get an eye roll and a scoff...it's just the natural progression of life. The biggest lesson I learned in the past week was to cherish every second I get with my boys. Every day is a new and special gift, and instead of focusing on what has to be done at home or arguing about things that don't matter, I am going to try to focus more on those beautiful little moments that make me realized how very blessed I am to be their mommy.

My boys sharing storytime...another one of those sweet moments

Family Update : Mother's Day Edition

Another week has come and gone in our little corner of Crazytown! I apologize for the delay in getting this week's post finished, but this is the first time I have had the time and mental capacity to write anything! Well...maybe the mental capacity thing is kind of a stretch...but I'm gonna give it my best shot! =)

Monday was an at home day for Nate and I. He was happy to relax and watch Super Why while I did some stuff for work and a teensy bit of housework. Tuesday was a much more fun day for my little guy, while Dill was in school we met up for a play date at the park with my dear friend Jen and her youngest daughter Brooke, who we all call Brookie-cookie. She and Nathan are two trouble-making peas in a pod. They were like two adorable wild monkeys all over the place!

Two crazy cuties later at lunch

Jen and I relished the chance to sit and catch up while they ran amok, and my amazingly sweet and ever thoughtful friend gave me a beautiful homemade mason jar vase with some flowers as an early Mother's Day gift. I love her caring and giving spirit, and I really want to be more like her when I grow up! =)

On Friday, I dropped Nate off with Kim and headed to Dillon's school for an event put on by his class called Muffins for Moms. Dill was so excited! The whole class had been practicing for weeks for this special event for Mom's, and they did not disappoint! First, the put on what they called "Reader's Theatre," where groups of kids got on stage and read some classic children's books. Each child had just a few lines at a time, and they rotated so smoothly that I could tell they had practiced hard!

After the reading time, we went into the classroom to watch an interview video that the teacher had put together. She asked the kids questions about their moms and recorded the responses. My sweet Dill told the camera that he was proud of me because I work hard and believe in God. I thought my heart was going to explode! Dill is such a wonderful little man.

Once the video was over, we finished the beautiful morning with a picnic lunch under the shady trees while he showed me all of the beautiful artwork he had made for me. I will cherish these special moments with my big boy. Sometimes it seems so hard for me to relate to him, he is growing so fast. But to have those precious times where he wants to snuggle with me under a tree in front of all his friends...that is the best gift of all.

I left Dill at school to finish his day and went back to Kim's house. Her daughter (and another of my dear friends) Kaitlyn had come over to let her boys play with Nate and spend some time with their grandma, who they call Moema. Kaitlyn's oldest boy JJ has been Nathan's best friend practically since birth. They are only three months apart in age and they love each other like brothers. (And occasionally fight like brothers too!) Kaitlyn is also a blogger and amazing photographer, make sure to check out her page www.kandjeveryday.com.

Friday night was a MUCH needed date night for Aaron and I. The boys were not sad to see us go, since as we left their beloved cousin Becca came over for a sleepover (along with her dad Alex). We decided to go to SAK Comedy Club for an improv show and had a great time! It was a lot of fun, and the tickets were almost the same as you would pay at a movie theatre! We will definitely be making SAK one of our go-to date spots!

On Saturday, the boys and Becca had a fun filled day playing with an inflatable water slide and kiddie pool. When Alex and Becca went home, we continued the fun heading to Jen's house for dinner. Another crazy busy but awesome day!

Sunday was Mother's Day, and I am going to be honest...I woke up miserable. My boys gave me their sweet cards and a pretty bracelet, and I did my best to hold it together. I had a terrible headache, and decided to stay home from church. In truth, I didn't want to go anyway. I couldn't bear the thought of people wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day." To me it seemed like it was a day to put a spotlight on all of the holes in my life. Not just losing Ryan, but also the passing of my mother three years ago. There was just too much pain and anger invoked by that one simple and innocent statement...and I couldn't take it. Let me explain...

My mother Robin was a beautiful, passionate, funny and loyal woman. She was also very deeply broken by her own tragic childhood. She turned to drinking, smoking, and prescription drugs as a way of self medication. She was physically abusive to all three of her children, but the worst scars that we carry are from the emotional warfare. I can still hear her voice in my head cutting me down to size at my every move.

My brother Ben, sister Jill, Aaron and I with mom at our rehearsal dinner in 2006

As the oldest of three children, I think I got to know who my mother really was under the mess better than my siblings. As time went on, she slipped further and further into the darkness, but every so often we would get a glimpse of the woman inside, the mother we longed for. But she was just too broken, and she would inevitably go back into the mess. Eventually, her lifestyle choices caught up to her, and three years ago, she passed away from throat cancer. For a long time, I didn't know how to feel about her death...part of me wanted to hate her, to be glad she was gone. But the part of me that really knew the Robin trapped inside the insanity...that part of me was broken to the core when she was gone. Friends and some family members couldn't understand why I would mourn her after all of the terrible things she said and did to us. Others just seemed to be watching me, waiting for me to slip up and prove that I was going to turn out like her. I was left with this tangled up knot of emotions every time I thought of her...anger, pain, love, hatred, and overwhelming guilt.

So, fast forward to this past Sunday. I wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers until Mother's Day was just a memory. Of course I couldn't do that to my family. We had a nice lunch at Red Robin (yum!) and spent some time at Aaron's parents house to give gifts and cards to my sweet mother in law. Inside I wrestled with my conflicting emotions...

My sweet sweet Dilly and I at Red Robin

What I realized was that I am turning out like her, and that's what makes me miss her so much. I don't mean I am becoming a rage filled alcoholic, but I see so much of the real Robin in who I am today. It is from her that I get my sense of humor, my fierce protectiveness of those I love, the joy I find in cooking for people, and my appreciation for a great book and a bubble bath. Those parts of her, and so much more, are what make me wish with all my heart that I could pick up the phone and call her when the kids do something funny, or for no reason at all. Just as the God that created the universe chooses to love me despite of how I fail Him each and every day, I am choosing to love and forgive my mother in spite of all the pain. I am so blessed to be forgiven and accepted in spite of my shortcomings, and I need to extend my mother the same grace I have been given.

Mom and I in 2011

When I sat down to write this post, I fully intended to gloss over the whole Mother's Day thing and keep it "light and fluffy" this time. But as I wrote I was overcome by this need to share the story, and I have to believe that was from God, because I absolutely did not want to do it! Thank you for indulging me and allowing me to share my heart. I pray that it might touch someone else's heart and maybe help them reconcile their own tangled up mess of emotions. Thanks for listening, and I will talk to you again soon. <3

Family Update 05.04.2015

Since my last post, I have been walking around halfway in a daze...which some would say is not a new thing for me =).I have honestly been going through my days thinking: "What will I write about?" or "Would anyone care to read about this?" and finally, "Nope...can't write about that, makes my family sound like a bunch of loony toons!" Well, by the end of this past weekend, God grabbed a hold of my heart and my rampaging thoughts and said, "No no, you are not in charge here.This is what I want you to share."  So, if you have a spare moment, come with me as I share the journey of the last week or so...

Our week started out with a great worship service followed by a somewhat quiet afternoon at home. Dillon started saying he didn't feel well in the afternoon, so we got both boys into bed early to rest.

Monday morning, Dill still didn't feel well, so he stayed home from school. Upon closer inspection, Dr. Mom concluded that the issues were allergy based, resulting in a pretty gnarly sinus headache. The treatment plan included rest for the afflicted child while the medical staff tried desperately to keep the small fry quiet!

By Tuesday, Dill felt well enough to go back to school...

Nathan and I met up with my dear friend Kim for her celebratory birthday breakfast and then headed off for grocery shopping. I try to make sure I'm getting the best deals in town, so that meant there were three stores on my list for that day. With each store, I saw my little Nate's mood deteriorate as we got closer and closer to nap time. By the time we were in the checkout line at our final destination, he was a yelling, screaming, crying Grump-asaurus beyond the capacity for reason. When the ladies at the registers announced that the whole store's computer system had crashed...inside I felt the same as Nate.

Crazy lil man at breakfast

Goofing off while shopping

We survived the grocery store ordeal, and on Wednesday I decided I was going to clean the ENTIRE house. Now...I am not the best housekeeper...and my house can get pretty darn dirty. Nevertheless, I wrote myself an unreasonably long to-do list and got to work. By day's end, I had accomplished a good amount. The kitchen practically sparkled, the main living areas were straightened up and the DVD's were finally organized! But since I still had four or five more things left unfinished on my list, so to me the day felt like a failure.

On Thursday, I felt so defeated that we didn't do much at all...Nate didn't mind the opportunity to binge watch Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood on Netflix. Friday we met up with Kim again, this time to to get things in order for our church's Open House Luncheon that Sunday. In our travels, we decided to stop by the new Trader Joe's, since I hadn't yet made it over there and Kim thought that was just not right. That was definitely an experience...we encountered some really cool stuff and friendly employees...and the RUDEST CUSTOMERS I have ever seen! They acted like I was absolute pond scum for having the audacity to bring my child! News flash people: if you are in a store with kiddie shopping carts...YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO ENCOUNTER A CHILD!!! Just sayin. 

Friday night, Kim, Jen and I snuck away for a girls night! We enjoyed a lovely dinner at Chili's and went to see Do You Believe? Everyone needs to see that movie...the entire theatre was moved to tears. It was an amazing, challenging, beautiful movie.

Saturday was a fun but CRAZY day for us! It was our first attempt at attending two birthday parties in one day! Both were outside parties with swarms of kids running all over playgrounds and splash parks in the Florida sun. Thankfully it was not terribly hot, and we made it through both parties with only a couple of meltdowns.

The only pic I could get Dill to stay still long enough to take!

Seriously, I could lose my mind over the cute!

Ok now we have come to the part that I honestly did not want to write about...but I promised authenticity...so here we go. Over and over again throughout the week, I was confronted with my most persistent and damaging sin: anger. I have struggled with anger my entire life. I was raised in a household that was full of chaos, and screaming matches and hurtful, damaging words were an everyday occurrence. When I went out on my own, I swore that I would NEVER recreate that environment for my future family. When I met my wonderful husband, I figured I was all set. Aaron is such a calm and gentle spirit that I relied on his influence to calm my wild temper. That worked ok...up until we had children...and life got busy...and Aaron and I started working together...and then KABLOOOEY! I have become a short fused crazy woman who can fly off the handle for practically no reason! In so many situations this past week I can look back and see how things could have been so much simpler if I had simply paused a moment before reacting in anger. By Saturday night, I felt like it was simply hopeless; I am just awful parent who doesn't deserve the boys I've been blessed with.

And then I went to church on Sunday...
It was a crazy morning, since I was volunteering for open house we had to go to early service..which meant whining kids, dragging feet, lost shoes...and I blew my top before we even left the house. Ooops...more guilt, more self shame...no fun.

My heart was such a tangled up mess by the time worship started I thought seriously about running out the door. Then they played a song called "Future/Past", which I believe is by John Mark McMillan. As I listened to the words, I realized that I was going about this whole thing the wrong way. I had always thought that anger was so much a part of me that it couldn't fully be removed...but maybe controlled if I tried hard enough. But as I heard them sing "You are my first, you are my last. You are my future and my past", I realized that my upbringing was no surprise to God, He had been there all along. And more than that, only He had the power to make me free of it! 

The next song was one of my favorites, but it was especially meaningful this time. It is a song by All Sons & Daughters, called "God With Us." I sang out from the bottom of my heart (and top of my lungs) "Our Deliverer, you are Savior. In your presence we find our strength. Over everything, our redemption God with us." Wow...I was nearly in tears by the end of the song...and in hindsight I kind of feel bad for anyone who was afflicted by my singing!

The message that followed may as well have been written just for me. Our pastor talked about how Jesus knows and sees our needs LONG before we see them or articulate them, and He has the power to take the broken pieces and transform them into something AMAZING! I realized I had been holding back that part of me because I felt like it was too broken. Sunday was God getting my attention in a not so subtle way and letting me know I needed to give that up to Him as well. 

As I sit here Monday afternoon, I am not going to lie and tell you that I am magically cured and sitting on rainbows and unicorns. I've reacted badly a few times, but stopped and corrected myself a few times too. The big difference now is that I no longer feel alone. I have the God of Angel Armies on my side! And no matter what you may be struggling with today, if you ask Him, the same God that created the universe is there for you too! How cool is that??