Adventures at Lake Aurora

Last year, my dear friend Tina and I spontaneously decided to attend the annual Women's Retreat at Lake Aurora Christian Camp in Lake Wales, FL. We had such an amazing, relaxing, rejuvenating experience that when it came around again we recruited our friends Jen and Kim to come too.They, like most busy women, jumped at the chance to get away from the craziness of everyday life and get a chance to connect with God and with each other. So we packed up the car and away we went!

Left to right: Me, Jen, Kim and Tina =)

We arrived at the camp, got all checked in and headed to our cabin.The girls had a good laugh when I (being 5'2'' and having what my hubby lovingly refers to as "T-Rex arms) awkwardly clambered up into the top bunk! 

The view when I finally reached my bed...notice the ladder that some smart lady brought! Definitely on my list to pack for next time!

Once we were settled in and introduced ourselves to some of our cabin-mates, we took a walk around the grounds before dinner.

 Everywhere you look at Lake Aurora, you can't help but be struck with awe and wonder at the sheer beauty of God's creation. Looking at the breathtaking landscapes and realizing that the same God who is the architect of these intricate and magnificent surroundings holds my heart and calls me His child...I had to breathe out a sigh of overwhelming gratitude.

After dinner we set off to what we thought would be a simple craft session where we would make our own lockets. I suppose we should have realized when the craft was named "Not Just Words Locket" that we were in for something special. As it began to drizzle outside, we sat at picnic tables under an overhang as Wendy Fitzgerald read a beautiful and moving story of a princess's search for her father. The story was so masterfully written, I know every heart was moved as the princess (representing us) searched and searched for her father the King (God), but was unable to interpret the book he had left for her (the Bible) without the aid of the teacher she had previously pushed away (the Holy Spirit). We then took our locket kits and wrote a personal prayer on the inside...I wrote a few words representing some past pains I needed to release. We then glued a small seed on top of that paper, representative of John 12:24, which says "Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." We then took a glass artwork panel and glued it on top of the seed, symbolizing breaking the "grain of wheat" that was our personal prayer so that God can use it to bear much fruit. Because I am almost the least crafty person on Earth, I ended up with glue all over my hands and my phone case, but the message resonated so deeply with all of us. If you would like to learn more about these necklaces, the stories or other amazing inspirational messages and products, visit ifthenmovement.com.

The rest of the weekend was filled with so many amazing memories. We met some....shall we say..."interesting characters", nearly sank in a paddle boat, and soaked our feet while gazing out over the lake. (which we needed after the near-sinking incident!)

Jen and I in our boat...right before we realized we were sinking!

 We had some great times of worship, and the bible study theme of "Beautifully Broken" resonated with me so deeply, realizing that God can (and does) take the broken pieces and messiness of our lives and put them together into something even more beautiful. 

Saturday night, the girls and I sat around the campfire and really opened up to each other, some of us for the first time ever. God moved though us that night, and old wounds, insecurities, and past pains were confessed and released. We cried, hugged each other, prayed over each other, and even took some of our aggression out by hurling rocks into the lake as we declared each pain or insecurity out loud and cast it away!

Sunday morning, the experience was culminated for me as we sat beneath a beautiful oak tree and listened to Lisa Caputo speak about "Picking Up the Pieces." Lisa exhibited such grace and bravery as she told her story, sharing some of the darkest times of her past. She spoke about the need to be authentic in life, no matter what anyone else may think. That struck a cord with me. As time passed after losing Ryan, I felt all of this pressure from society, some so-called friends, and even some in the church, to be "over-it." Like my grieving process had become inconvenient to them and I had to hurry up and put on my happy face. And when Aaron became a deacon, forget about it! I wasn't supposed to have problems! I'm supposed to play the role of "the Deacon's Wife" and be all perfectly put together at all times! HA! AS IF!

The lesson that most stuck with me as we drove away was that I wanted to share my story in a way that was absolutely authentic. I feel like in life, and especially sometimes in the church, the pressures to "have it all together" and "be ok" can be so overwhelming that we think there must be something wrong with us if we aren't like that. My goal for this blog is to be 100% real no matter what, whether I'm getting all deep and spiritual or just yammerring on about whatever hijinks my kids have gotten into this time...my prayer is that I would always be completely authentic, and that it may inspire others to do the same.

So blessed to have each of these ladies in my life

 So...I am here to say...I am a beautifully broken mess and proud of it! And I hope if you are reading this that you can embrace your inner "mess" and release those feelings of failure or insecurity and the hurts from the past and let God take them and turn them into something amazing!